Carlos

Bio

An original member of the league and one of the few still chasing that elusive first championship, Carlos has made a career out of being “close but not quite.” He did his time as commissioner for three of the darkest, most chaotic years in league history — a stretch most of us try not to talk about. He also holds the distinguished record for most last-place finishes with five, proving that consistency isn’t always about winning. But what Carlos lacks in trophies, he makes up for with comedy, regularly blessing the league with his infamous mid-season poems that roast everyone else while distracting from his own record. Championship or not, he’s guaranteed entertainment every year.